The older (and sicker) I've got, I've realised just how much I hate modern Western society. I simply don't fit into it anymore. Not that I'm too sad by that. Over the last decade my life has changed so dramatically starting with the loss of my health and quickly followed by loss of career then my marriage (that turned out to be a blessing in disguise for all concerned).
I remarried nearly 5 years ago and it's been wonderful. I've found someone who truly shares my values and we have found a big overlap in our ambitions as well. It turns out that these are things that are vital to a successful marriage but what do you know when you're in your 20s! Also, my priorities in life have changed a LOT since my 20s. I'm not the same person. I'd like to think I'm a better person but it's always a work in progress.
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| Sunset in the South of France, just before the bats came out. |
Back to modern society, it simply doesn't have a place for me any more. I'm not in the rat race career wise as I was medically retired (against my wishes) about 10 years ago. However, I'm still stuck with the rat race indirectly through hubby. As I'm not well enough to work it is his sole responsibility to work and earn an income. We are still stuck, for now.
I have always to some extent hated the consumerism and materialism of our society. It became my norm when with my ex as he's fully into it, whereas I've always been a natural saver. When I became a single parent it probably wasn't as hard for me to penny pinch as I have that tendency anyway. I still had a lot to learn though, and despite our expenses being very tightly controlled there is still a lot more we could do. That's could, not should! (I'm trying to ban the word 'should') It's simply about priorities.
Over the years I have noticed that our society is completely geared towards wasting money and going into debt over it. Apart from my mortgage debts and a student loan that was paid off nearly 20 years ago I've only ever been in debt through my divorce. Those things will cripple you folks! Since then, I've clawed my way back, even without being able to work in an employed sense, mainly by avoiding spending money. Just because it's reduced, doesn't mean you need it!
So we are stuck in a rat race trying to earn enough to satisfy our societal urges to spend on stuff we don't need, and often don't even want! I mean, how ridiculous!
What I crave now can't be bought with money. I want simplicity, wholesome fun, to be surrounded by nature and trees. I luurve trees by the way! I can't breathe (literally) when stuck in a concrete jungle commonly known as a city. Most of all, I want to share it all with hubby.
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| The coastline of West Wales |
Hubby and I long to retire to the countryside of France, or West Wales if my health causes too much problem abroad. I like having a plan B for days when I struggle to see France actually happening for us, especially with the uncertainties of Brexit. But I'm not going to get into politics.
I have a need to be surrounded by trees and countryside but hubby, on the other hand, is a sailor and needs to be near to the sea. Parts of France simply can't accommodate both of these dreams so we've been focusing on exploring the areas inland but in an hours drive of the sea. We go to France each year and 'test' out a new area. We drive around lots to get a feel for how accessible places are to each other in the hope of finding that sweet spot.
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| A short drive from our current house on the outskirts of the city, SE Wales |
Our plan B in West Wales is, in fact, much easier as there are beautiful countryside and woodlands in West Wales and you are never far from the coast. What we want is to live in the countryside/woods but have easy access to the coast for sailing during the summertime. I don't fancy being coastal during the winter months when we would be battered by all the Atlantic winds and storms.
The other part of the dream is to retire to our rural retreat sooner rather than later. My life expectancy isn't as good with my problems and as I get sicker each year time is an important consideration. So long as we are dependent on hubby's job we can't move anywhere better for my health. So we have been looking at how we can generate passive income and reduce our needs enough that the two can allow hubby to retire early.
This is not exactly the start of my journey but somehow it is a new chapter. I've walked away from my old life, accepted that I'll never work again and importantly I've got out of debt from the divorce (as has hubby following his divorce). Instead of fixing past mistakes, I now feel like we can plan for a better future, so it is a new chapter for me.
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