Homemade laundry detergent saves loads

Laundry detergent, it is soo expensive! I mean, even the store own brands are a lot. But do we really need them? I say no.

Actually, they are extremely bad for my health with all the chemicals and fragrances in them. I've had a problem with some detergents ever since I've been doing my own laundry (a long time now as I'm no spring chicken anymore). The big brands are worse than the cheaper ones too. 

I never really knew why they got to me so much until in recent years when my chemical sensitivities got more and more severe. Now I know it's the hundreds of different chemicals used to produce various "fragrances". So while I'm talking about the undisclosed ingredients in these fragrances, let me ask you, what does clean actually smell like? It smells of nothing. Mind blown!!

As a side note, look up the documentary on Netflix called 'Stink'. A single dad investigates into why his daughter's Christmas pyjamas smell so strongly of chemicals when she opened her gift. It opened up a whole world of toxic chemicals that we don't even know are in our lives and are not regulated for. Scary, scary stuff. 

We have become to think over the last 50 plus years that everything has to smell fragranced to be clean. A great example is with the use of bleach in hospitals. A massive bugbear of mine. You only need the smallest amount of bleach to do the job of sterilising as it's extremely potent. You shouldn't be able to smell it after the area has been cleaned and is dry. So what is that hospital smell that we are all familiar with? Chemicals in cleaning fluids, that's what. It's a dangerous place for me to be as it makes me sicker.

I'm pretty sure that we, as a society, use too much of these cleaning fluids because we think that these fragrances/chemical smells mean that something is clean. But really, if you spray body spray on top of dirty skin, the skin is still dirty! Teenagers, I'm looking at you!

For the past 2 or 3 years, I've been making my own laundry detergent. Ok, I do have a cheap brand (that I'm not reactive to) as a backup plan in the cupboard but I've never needed it unless I've been too lazy to make another batch of mine.

I looked on Pinterest (a wonderful place) to find various recipes and there were several to chose from. I settled on a liquid recipe and over the last few years have tweaked it to suit me. I've made what I think is my best ever batch, by accident, this weekend.

Please note that there are a few affiliate links in this post that will earn me commission at no extra cost to you if used. Thank you.

All you need are soda crystals, borax substitute, liquid Castille soap (I like Dr Bronners almond scented as it smells subtle and doesn't irritate me, but there are cheaper unfragranced brands too) and water. I use a large stock pot on the stove to make it in.

• To make it, add 5 cups of water to the pot and add 1 cup of Castille soap. Warm it on the stove until it starts to gently bubble then turn off the heat. 
• Add 1 cup of borax substitute and 1 cup of soda crystals to the pot. Stir until all the solids are dissolved. It took me a while this time as my borax substitute had gone a bit hard, but it still worked fine. You will feel this bottom of the pot turn from a sandy texture to a smooth slimy texture as you stir. 
• When everything is dissolved, add 5 cups of cold water to the pot and mix well. 
• At this point, I leave the mix to cool in the pot while I go off and do something else. 
• Once cooled you will find that the soap tends to separate out into layers. I used to whisk it by hand to mix it up again but I found a little bit of magic this weekend all because I have a very painful arthritic shoulder. So rather than struggle with a whisk, I got out my electric hand blender. I thought I was being lazy but wow! What a great pearl of wisdom this turned out to be. The mix turned into a smooth set custard-like consistency. It was awesome and so easy. 
• Finally, spoon your laundry custard into large jars until use.
• When I use it in the washing machine I only need 1 tablespoon measure (from the measuring spoon set) or 1/2 tablespoon for a half load. 

A batch of homemade laundry custard detergent 

My first attempt years ago was like a thick sauce but my others were a bit more runny. I thought it was due to the storage temperature in my laundry room being colder but maybe I just wasn't beating the mix enough. The other major difference is that I now use liquid soap as I find grating a bar of soap hard work (again, thank you arthritis) and then I get bored waiting for it to dissolve in the warm water. So laziness (or self-preservation from pain) meant I switched to liquid soap and I much prefer the results.

I bought the ingredients for less than £19 (unless I upgrade to Dr Bronners soap which is more expensive). I only used half the borax substitute, about a 1/4 of the soda crystals and a 1/4 the bottle of Castille soap so there is plenty left over for another 3 batches is you buy a second borax substitute. I don't know how many loads I washed (as I don't count) but one batch lasted my family of 3 a full year. I even give a small jar to my mum.

My approximation of cost is £23 (with the extra box of borax substitute) for 4 years worth of laundry detergent for my family. That's less than £6 per year!!

I've had to look up the cost of Bold laundry pods (25 pods) as I haven't bought any for so long. I was shocked to see it is on Amazon for £20! That would last about 1 month. With these calculations, it would cost £240 per year for Bold compared to my £6 per year by making my own laundry detergent that works just as well. A saving of £234 per year to go in our early retirement pot!!

So making my own detergent not only helps keep me well (my main motivation for doing this) by avoiding unnecessary chemicals, but it's also very eco-friendly (especially if you use a bar of soap that is wrapped in paper rather than plastic). Then, of course, it's so much cheaper that you have to wonder why we pay so much to have it made for us with all those nasty chemicals added.

I seriously recommend you give it a go sometime. It took less than 30 minutes in all (with cooling time in the middle). That's a very good monetary return on your time.

Soul searching

I've done a lot of soul searching in the last year, especially over the winter while being indoors a lot more. I've talked poor hubby to death about what we ultimately want to do in life and how to get there. Thankfully, we do agree on a lot of things but not always how to get there.

The older (and sicker) I've got, I've realised just how much I hate modern Western society. I simply don't fit into it anymore. Not that I'm too sad by that. Over the last decade my life has changed so dramatically starting with the loss of my health and quickly followed by loss of career then my marriage (that turned out to be a blessing in disguise for all concerned).

I remarried nearly 5 years ago and it's been wonderful. I've found someone who truly shares my values and we have found a big overlap in our ambitions as well. It turns out that these are things that are vital to a successful marriage but what do you know when you're in your 20s! Also, my priorities in life have changed a LOT since my 20s. I'm not the same person. I'd like to think I'm a better person but it's always a work in progress.

Sunset in the South of France, just before the bats came out.

Back to modern society, it simply doesn't have a place for me any more. I'm not in the rat race career wise as I was medically retired (against my wishes) about 10 years ago. However, I'm still stuck with the rat race indirectly through hubby. As I'm not well enough to work it is his sole responsibility to work and earn an income. We are still stuck, for now.

I have always to some extent hated the consumerism and materialism of our society. It became my norm when with my ex as he's fully into it, whereas I've always been a natural saver. When I became a single parent it probably wasn't as hard for me to penny pinch as I have that tendency anyway. I still had a lot to learn though, and despite our expenses being very tightly controlled there is still a lot more we could do. That's could, not should! (I'm trying to ban the word 'should') It's simply about priorities.

Over the years I have noticed that our society is completely geared towards wasting money and going into debt over it. Apart from my mortgage debts and a student loan that was paid off nearly 20 years ago I've only ever been in debt through my divorce. Those things will cripple you folks! Since then, I've clawed my way back, even without being able to work in an employed sense, mainly by avoiding spending money. Just because it's reduced, doesn't mean you need it!

So we are stuck in a rat race trying to earn enough to satisfy our societal urges to spend on stuff we don't need, and often don't even want! I mean, how ridiculous!

What I crave now can't be bought with money. I want simplicity, wholesome fun, to be surrounded by nature and trees. I luurve trees by the way! I can't breathe (literally) when stuck in a concrete jungle commonly known as a city. Most of all, I want to share it all with hubby.

The coastline of West Wales

Hubby and I long to retire to the countryside of France, or West Wales if my health causes too much problem abroad. I like having a plan B for days when I struggle to see France actually happening for us, especially with the uncertainties of Brexit. But I'm not going to get into politics.

I have a need to be surrounded by trees and countryside but hubby, on the other hand, is a sailor and needs to be near to the sea. Parts of France simply can't accommodate both of these dreams so we've been focusing on exploring the areas inland but in an hours drive of the sea. We go to France each year and 'test' out a new area. We drive around lots to get a feel for how accessible places are to each other in the hope of finding that sweet spot.

A short drive from our current house on the outskirts of the city, SE Wales

Our plan B in West Wales is, in fact, much easier as there are beautiful countryside and woodlands in West Wales and you are never far from the coast. What we want is to live in the countryside/woods but have easy access to the coast for sailing during the summertime. I don't fancy being coastal during the winter months when we would be battered by all the Atlantic winds and storms.

The other part of the dream is to retire to our rural retreat sooner rather than later. My life expectancy isn't as good with my problems and as I get sicker each year time is an important consideration. So long as we are dependent on hubby's job we can't move anywhere better for my health. So we have been looking at how we can generate passive income and reduce our needs enough that the two can allow hubby to retire early.

This is not exactly the start of my journey but somehow it is a new chapter. I've walked away from my old life, accepted that I'll never work again and importantly I've got out of debt from the divorce (as has hubby following his divorce). Instead of fixing past mistakes, I now feel like we can plan for a better future, so it is a new chapter for me.

Chemical's all around me (sung as Love is All Around Me)

This post contains an affiliate link from which I can earn a small commission at no extra cost to the buyer.

The last 12 months have been a big challenge for me. From spending a week in the hospital with Missy, to waiting over 2 years for mental health, for me (and still nothing much) to a breakdown last summer. After that, I was seriously ill (more than usual) with multiple chemical sensitivities for more than 80% of my time. To say it was hard was an understatement. My illness seems to have increased its game again but it took me the best part of a year to figure that out.

My brain is seriously affected by chemical sensitivities, both in food and what I breathe. I have a really long list of foods that I cannot touch... like, ever! It's so bad that I now buy only fresh produce and the odd extra that I know is safe for me, such as Schaar gluten free bread (it has to be Schaar though). I'm very grateful that I can still eat some Cadburys chocolate so long as I choose the ones without gluten. Mars is a complete no-no!!

At least with foods, I have a level of control over what I eat. I often choose to go without food for a whole day if we're out and I can't get hold of safe foods, e.g. travelling for holidays where I can't take my own food through an airport. I have chosen to be very, very hungry rather than severely ill for a week. What kind of holiday would that be?

However, and this is big, I cannot control the environment from which I breathe. I am finding that my sensitivity to chemicals is far, far worse than ever. I'm investigating further with a neurologist. I finally found one who was willing to work with me and not keep saying it's a migraine. Sixth time lucky, I guess. It's been a 10-year journey so far. She is very nice though and I think I've piqued her curiosity.

So what sort of things set me off? Pretty much most things with an artificial fragrance or volatile solvents. So that includes (but is far from limited to) perfumes, aftershaves, cigarettes or vapes (really hate these), air fresheners, laundry detergents (I make my own), petrol or diesel fumes, cleaning products (also make my own), some pollens (but muck spreading doesn't bother me at all!), and airborne foods from the cooking process. To name but a few...

The only place where I have a moderate level of control is in my own home. I don't have any offending products in the house. I make my own cleaning fluids and laundry soap by using Granny's old school methods. It's far cheaper and more eco-friendly as well so really worth doing just on those grounds. My house is meant to be my safe place. I ask all visitors to not wear fragrances, although it often gets forgotten (or downright ignored by one repeat offender) so I have to have all windows open, even in winter to try to combat this. It's just as well I don't see people very often.

Last year, as summer was coming to an end I realised how bad it was all getting when I started to close windows and doors to keep in the warmth. Suddenly, I was constantly in a lot of pain, and severely ill. This is when I had to re-enforce the fragrance ban. But knowing that it will be forgotten at times (or ignored) I've bought an air purifier (affiliate link) with the all-important carbon filters as well as the more common HEPA filters. It's a giant for such a small thing! When we have visitors now and I feel my sinuses start to burn I put the air filter on immediately. I've had to learn to do it please or offend. I try my best to always be polite but it's always me that ends up suffering, so I really need to learn to be a lot more assertive with this.

The filter is amazing though. It's not even that loud. I leave it running after visitors as they leave their *fumes* behind after they are gone. Picture a cartoon character with stink lines coming off them and that's how I see it!

So what exactly, do these chemicals do to me? Well, one regular visitor wears a lot of chemicals (don't ask!) and while they are around my symptoms start to creep in and escalate.

First, I usually feel the back of my nose, sinuses and throat started to itch. Then it turns into a burning that gets worse and worse until my throat looks like it's been scolded (I won't show the photo as it's yucky but I did take one to show the neurologist). It's really painful. My throat starts to swell and I can't get enough oxygen in, presumably, the same reaction is going on in my lungs as breathing hurts. My sinuses get very, very congested as I actually bleed into the sinus cavities. Yes, it's that bad. But it gets worse. After the initial symptoms come the blinding (literally) pain through my face along the trigeminal nerve, which then spreads across the surface of my brain. It's when the blood vessels lining the brain are inflamed (meningitis) but it's caused by chemicals rather than bacteria or a viral infection.

Last September, hubby was frying some onions in a pan to go on his burgers. Onions are one of the things that I'm very reactive to if I eat them (or anything else in the onion family). This however, was the first time I've reacted from breathing the cooking fumes. The symptoms developed in the usual pattern for an airborne trigger. I was in a lot of pain very quickly despite going outside to try to get clear air. By the next day, I thought I had a brain haemorrhage as the pain was so severe. It's a 12 out of 10 for me, with childbirth being a 6-7 and gallstones a 10!!

When Missy and hubby got home that night they took me to accident and emergency. I nearly called an ambulance several times in the day but was afraid to in case they said no. In the last 10 years I've only once managed to get an ambulance despite needing one on a fairly regular basis. That's another story.

This time the attack was so severe I couldn't see as lights were unbearable, I couldn't move my head or neck for the pain and stiffness, and the pain was so severe I kept passing out in the waiting room. We were there for 11 hours in all but it only felt like 3 to me as I really wasn't (mentally) there.

The savvy among you will be wondering if I also had a rash. The answer was no on this occasion but I very often do have the rash (that doesn't fade under pressure). Yes, I had meningitis. I had blood cultures done, although I can't remember having them. Thankfully they put a cannula in my arm as later when I kept passing out I magically found a drip had been put in my arm. During all this time I was kept upright in a seat in the waiting room as there were no beds (as usual) and they were extremely short staffed (worse than usual). The results of my blood tests finally came back showing that I didn't have any infection. They had pumped me full of codeine and morphine by this point and it did nothing. So rather than find out what was wrong, wait for it... I was sent home. This is the usual outcome and why I don't very often call for help, but this time I really couldn't cope alone.

When something so simple as cooking fumes or the perfume of a stranger walking past me down the street can land me in the hospital, where there's nothing they can do and no painkillers touch the pain, you can see why I'm so determined to get to the bottom of this and protect myself at all costs. So for months, I've been doing a lot of research and soul searching. How do I move forward in life? How can I call this a life? What can I do to change it? And how do I put these things into practice?

This is a big part of why I'm writing again. I'm trying to consolidate my thoughts and work out an action plan for a better life. I'm trying to look forward (although I do find that hard at the moment as I'm scared of the past happening again, and again...) and work out how to get to the wholesome life that I so desperately crave and need. I need to turn surviving into thriving.

Enjoying the clean air in the woodland

Snow day, I feel like a fraud

We have been forecast snow for a few days but it only actually materialised last night. It was snowing gently all night long and this morning we have a lovely winter wonderland scene outside.

Just before the sun came up before the kids ruined the clean snow!

So the first thing to do in the UK is check your email to see if your kid's schools are closed. Yes, they have been shut.

A lot of people complain about the schools closing at the first sighting of a snowflake and to be fair we are a nation of babies in this respect. We had a total of about 3 inches snow overnight and now it's stopped.

Trying to figure out if they have enough snow for an igloo

As a country, we are always woefully underprepared for any bad weather, snow, flooding, drought, whatever. We seem to be reactive rather than proactive. Partly, I think because we don't really suffer from bad weather in the way that many other countries do. We often don't have any snow for instance. This is why many drivers haven't got a clue how to drive in snow. They've never had to. So keeping these drivers off the road isn't a bad thing.

There is an upside to a snow day though. The kids don't see snow that often so it's nice for them to have some wholesome fun in it while they can. It'll likely be slush and ice tomorrow. It's been lovely seeing and hearing all the kids playing outside in the snow. It' seems that snow has the power to get them to put down their phones for a while and get outdoors. That can't be a bad thing.

I've got kids running indoors every couple of hours for a hot drink, a quick pee and a chance to warm up before they bundle up and run back out again. It warms my heart.

Little Sammy and Cecily eating their fill

I do feel a bit like I'm missing out as I'm not out there myself. I have to be very careful not to fall and get too cold thanks to various chronic illnesses. If Matt was home I would be more inclined to go out for a walk in it during daylight as it is so pretty and my camera finger is twitching. Maybe there'll be some on the weekend when he's off work.

Yes, that's right, Matt has done his usual commute to work this morning despite the snow. He doesn't want to get behind or lose a days holiday. That and he can easily get there taking a bit of care on the roads.

Many of the local buses weren't running this morning, or they were running limited routes. This is usually why I think the schools close. These days most children are bused to school as over a generation the smaller schools have been closed in favour of busing kids to a super school. There are over 1800 children in Missy's school and they are still talking about expanding!! There were about 550 in mine 30 years earlier. So the schools are then at the mercy of buses running as the children (and staff) don't live close enough to walk. At least it doesn't happen too many days each year.

No wildlife out today

I've also been looking after my little furry friends during this cold snap. I topped up the feeders for the birds and squirrels a few days ago so they've been well fed before the ground froze and now they can cosy up together in their nests and wait it out.

You can see a quick snap I took of two squirrels getting their share of seeds and suet. These two often come over together as the little one, Sammy I call her, is still quite timid.

This morning though I haven't seen any wildlife out. Even our Suki cat doesn't want to go out for a pee. Missy has managed to coax him out the front where the car was and it's clear. He was out for 5 minutes and is now asleep on the back of the sofa where I've no doubt he'll stay.

I think it's time now that I make a big batch of pancakes to warm everyone up. I'd better go easy on the milk though!

A new chapter, my epiphany moment

I can't believe I'm starting yet another blog. I stopped writing a couple of years ago as I got fed up with putting stupid expectations on myself with it all. That said, I have missed writing about my random thoughts and having a journal to look back on.

Last year was a big challenge mentally for me and I couldn't bring myself to write anything as I was afraid of focusing on the bad things. Journalling during these times isn't good for my health. However, something has changed in me in recent months and I'm feeling hopeful again and my yearning for a more simple life has increased tenfold.

I had a lightbulb moment while chatting with a good friend in France last summer. I have many complicated medical problems that I find overwhelming most the time, but for some reason, I noticed that every year while I'm in France on holiday for two weeks I feel a lot better and can cope better with day to day living. As soon as I get back to the UK I go downhill again within a few days. It's happened every time I've been to France over the last 4 years.

So chatting with my good friend (and Tribe member), we tried to figure out what was different. Ok, the warm summer sun helps a lot but we had an amazing summer in the UK last year as well, so that wasn't it. The fresh open spaces in rural France were amazing but even though I live in the suburbs at home I wouldn't say I lived in a built-up area. In fact, we have lovely trees and wildlife opposite our house as we are on the edge of the estate.

I don't have the pressures of a job at home, as I've been medically retired for about 10 years now, so that wasn't the difference. Ok, I do find things easier when I have Matt home from work to help with things I find difficult, but not to this extent. Something was clearly different in France.

I noticed in France that a LOT of the food out there has No Preservatives stamped proudly on it. I asked my friend about it and she confirmed that the French are really against their food being tampered with. I have numerous serious sensitivities to foods and solvents thanks to fibromyalgia/ME so I started to look more carefully at what we had been eating in France.

Most of what we ate there were fresh fruit and veg, Shaar gluten free bread (that I can get at home) and good quality meats. Our diet was quite different. And yes, we loved moules and I also am quite fond of snails. We were eating a lot cleaner.

Missy showing me how to use a mussel shell to pick out the flesh. We love les moules frites.

I hadn't thought about all the additives in our food at home. I know I can't eat gluten, wheat, pulses, or anything onion family along with a few vegetables that, erm, produce wind. Not to mention, no alcohol! But I hadn't looked at the E numbers in any great detail. Oh my goodness, our food is chocked full of them. And to think I thought that we ate fairly well as most of our food is home cooked and we have lots of fruit and veg. 

With Matt's help, we paired our food right back to the basics. I don't buy processed foods at all any more for myself and very little for Matt and Missy. It took many weeks of cutting all these additives out of my diet as well as the many foods I had already cut out before I noticed any change. Then it was profound.

I have been getting severe headaches (meningitis type ones) 1-3 times a week for ten years. They last between 3 and 10 days and often I get one attack on top of another as they switch to the other side of my head. I was lucky if I had a small handful of days each month with less pain. I never had a pain free day.

This was such a profound discovery. I am now having more and more better days where I feel like me and not Mr Hyde. I even get some pain free days. Every weekend now Matt and I batch cook for the week and freeze a load of meals for days when I'm too sick to cook. I now choose to go without on my bad days rather than eat convenience food and get more sick. I would rather starve. Besides, I've got plenty of reserves to keep me going!

This was the turning point for me. Without constant attacks I actually feel like me, the person I like. During an attack I feel a personality switch, hence Mr Hyde. I was very depressed and anxious all the time. By avoiding triggers and eating clean I'm me more often and I can feel the depression lifting. The old adage of 'You are what you eat' couldn't have been made more obvious to me.

So I feel that a new chapter in my life is starting. One that's making me question a lot more about the way we live and how it's making us sick. I'm at the beginning of my journey but am so glad that I took the first steps.